searching for my own idea of success
Friday was my birthday, so today's (late) flourish friday is 34 life lessons from a now 34 year old
*Cover Photo by Jason Grant on Unsplash*
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It may have something to do with the way the stars and planets aligned when I was born, but I always feel like I'm in the midst of or on the precipice of having an existential life crisis. It's tiring in all the ways, but it keeps me humble and on a haunt for more. But constantly being in go mode and looking for some indicator of having made it, you will most likely feel like where you currently are just isn't making the cut. Many of us are on a hamster wheel trying to make sense of life when if we'd just choose to slow down or even take a break from the wheel, we'd be able to see just how far we've come.
Long ago, on my first genuinely public blog, Aya's Diary, I began to release my "Life Lessons from an Almost ___ Year Old" series. It was a way for me to round up all the things I'd learned in the previous year that I not only wanted to hold onto as I transitioned to a new age but things that I thought others might find helpful. Even though many years have passed and so much has happened between then and now, many of my lists are similar. I'm learning many of the same lessons, and that's life's way of saying that that's what it's all about, returning to the same things it's tried to teach us until we have a more thorough understanding.
Here’s an excerpt from a piece I wrote during my 26th year and a lot of it is still so relevant.
If 26 has taught me anything, it's that life is only as good as you make it. I got some unwanted news this past Friday which in the moment almost stole my joy. I began to ponder about something that was out of my control and also how this may take a toll on my mental state. Life can throw you into what seems like a never ending cycle of emotions but it is up to you to push through. I know there are some people who have viewed my life and thought "poor Kamil" based on some of the lemons that have been placed at my feet. If people only knew what I knew, they’d be saying, "lucky her.”
—my words from 2016
While the period between 26 and 34 has been a bumpy ride, it's one I'm grateful for. I don't know if I would have volunteered to take it had I known what it would entail, but I rode it out. And even when things are complicated, and I question the heavens, I can still say lucky me. Today's Flourish Friday is going out on a Sunday, but that's okay. That's actually one of this year's 34 lessons—offer myself more grace. I hope today's piece will give you permission to ask life what it wants to teach you and then I encourage you take what it tells you and begin implementing it.
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